Hey you, remember me?

                                                                                                                October 21, 2014

 It’s been awhile. I am sure for most of you, my little online journal has been nothing but a distant memory of a hairdresser or friend who posted a few bright/thought provoking…err, well, maybe even cliché type ideas a couple times a month.  For me, this little spot in my busy life was the one where I would be most myself and not actually be behind the chair.  For months, I have let my little spot sit quietly.  I would sit and stare at a blank screen occasionally and wonder if there was anything nice to say.  And, if I didn’t have anything nice to say, would anyone really want to listen?

There is a time in everyone’s life, whether we choose to admit it or not, where we aren’t the most pleasant person in the room.  It can happen when we least expect it or it can be something we see coming for a long time.  Regardless of how it happens, we make choices in our life that can occasionally lead us to a place we never thought we would be.  And, once we get there, well, let’s just say there are only two choices.  We either sit in it, or we dig our way out.  What’s even harder to come to terms with is the time it can take to “fix” what’s broken.

So, my dear reader, like a car that needed fine tuning, I have been  out of commission and focusing on the fine tuning.  Let’s face it.  It is impossible for me to be your hairapist without taking the time to look inward…even if I don’t always like what I see.  It’s through times like these an outgoing bubbly personality like mine can take on the quiet persona that even the ones closest to me worry about what could possibly be happening.  And, even more importantly,  when will I bounce back?   And though I may not like the approach, I got a really sharp sting to my emotional “face” when I was told not so tactfully, “If you think this was bad for you, imagine how it was for the rest of us to deal with you.”  YOWZA!!  And, now, message received.

I can’t say I am the same “old me”.  But, I can say I am finding an inner peace I didn’t know I had.  And, well, I am also waking up creatively (I know, you missed me, right?) and longing for the next step again.  I no longer feel like an empty shell of myself.  And, better yet, I am reaching out again and serving others.  There is nothing more healing than to take part in the healing process with someone who is experiencing even more pain than you are, my friend.  It doesn’t have to be during working hours, and well, it doesn’t even have to be some grand gesture.  But, if there is one thing I have learned through these quiet months, it is this:  Everyone in this world wants to be heard and wants to know they matter.  So I ask you, what can you do today to reach out to someone and let them know they are loved?  When was the last time you let someone know they how important they are?  I challenge you to do something small to reach out to another.  I promise, they won’t see it as small.  And, above all else, I promise the world will be a little brighter today because of you.

And, of course, remember to believe.

Today will never come again

I am a morning person.  I wake up and I am ready to go.  Even if what I have to look forward to doesn't seem all that exciting, I am up and ready to face the day.  I love love love mornings!
For some this can be an annoying fact.  For those who like to sleep in, I apologize for my morning excitement.  I guess I am thinking about all the things the day might hold and I get out of bed and make my coffee in anticipation.
So, I sit here with my coffee this morning, a little earlier than normal.  I had a hard time sleeping last night.  It is never good to receive bad news from a friend.  And, it is even harder to get the news before bed.  And the question weighing heavy on my heart is this:  Why do we wait until we hear/experience something life altering to WAKE UP and make today count?  If each day is a gift, I am the first to admit, I have let more than a few pass by without giving thanks.  And, well, let's just say some days I may even dread...and when bedtime rolls around, I am extremely relieved the day is over and whatever it was I had to face is now checked off the list.  But what if there wasn't a tomorrow?  What if today is THE day.  The day where we are supposed to make every moment count because it could be our last?
Hard to even comprehend for me.  But today, I am going to try a little experiment.  I am going to try and take today and make it count.  Every moment of it.  I am going to make sure all of my interactions with others are exactly as I would want them to be if today was my last.  I am going to make sure those around me know how much I love them.  I am going to be thankful for my health.  For my family.  And, I am going to keep a certain family in my thoughts and prayers all day long.  For what they are facing today is far more difficult than my struggles today.
And, I am going to challenge you, my dear reader.  If today were your last, what would you do?  And though you may not be able to do exactly what you would do if it were your last, what about trying to treat others as if it were your last?
Let's try it and see what happens.  And let's not forget to believe.

Sharing our Gifts. Pass it on.

I had the opportunity before I started working in the salon I do now, to work in a very large salon.  And as some of you may know...women can be a tad "catty".  Yes, I know.  Shocker.  It is something I find a challenge in the business of making people look good.  Though there are men in the business too, it seems things can get slightly tense with the women especially.  I like the competitive ideas the-place-that-shall-remain-nameless had, but I like where I am even more now because there is team work.
Penny has been hairdressing for much longer than I have.  She has a comfort in the salon with her clients I admire very much.  They are like family to her.  And yet, she is able to keep things very professional too.  And, even better, she is open to new ideas.  I think we are the perfect team.  She shows me how to be calm, professional and business minded.  And I show her how to be more assertive and creative (I get her to think outside the box).  Working with her has never been competitive and yet we have managed to build each other up and make our business stronger.
Yesterday, we had a few hours to work together.  She had one of our old coworkers in the chair and I had my lovely pastor's wife in my chair.  The conversation was great and so was the energy in the salon.  Penny's client (who is a good friend to both of us) wanted a specific cut.  Though I was listening to my client with one ear, I was listening to Penny's with my other.  The cut they were referring to is one of my favorites.  I didn't hesitate when asked to come over and refresh Penny's memory on the cut.  
The beauty of the situation?  There was no pride, no "I'm better than you moment".  It was two women working together to make some look and feel beautiful.
What talents do you possess?  Are you sharing them with others?  Are you allowing the best of you to show and helping to build each other up?  Like pieces of a puzzle, we are all supposed to fit together in some way.  Given the opportunity, no matter what your talents, let them shine.
I love to teach.  And given the opportunity to educate a client or help my amazing coworker, I love it.  And I do it with humility and the desire to make the other person better.
Today, I challenge you to take one opportunity to let your best self shine.  Now what are you going to do with it?  Believe.

Lessons from my one year old Munchkin

Photo credits to the Amazingly Talented Heather Sippel.  She made Little Eastyn's birthday extra special with her photography.


It's mid afternoon and I am blogging.  In the quiet.  This, for any mother with four kids, is unheard of.  I am giddy like I was as a teenager when I would get to drive my dad's convertible with the top down on a sunny day.  My how life has changed.  So the wind might not be blowing through my hair but I am blessed to be sitting in the peace and quiet allowing my thoughts to flow freely.
Now, you may be seeing the title of this blog and if you don't have kids, you may be wondering if there is anything you can get out of it.  But, the fact is, there's more than a few things this little person has taught me.  Some are motherly lessons and some are just about life.

1. When you are ready to do something, do it.  This little one was quite comfortable in her space.  She came when she was good and ready and NO ONE was going to rush her out of her comfort zone.  But when she was ready, she made her entrance quickly and gracefully and was shining for the whole room to see.
2. When you're not happy with a situation, make it known.  Chances are if you speak up loud enough, you will be heard.  She may be number four, but she isn't one to sit back quietly while the others over power her.  The point is, you may feel like the little person in the room but you have a voice, so use it!
3. There is nothing wrong with taking a time out.  In her case a nap.  Well, let's just say, I have finally given in a few times to the age old advice "when your baby is napping you should nap".  I haven't done it much but when I have, I feel like a new person.  I believe I will continue this tradition occasionally as much as I can for as long as I can.  After all, she will be napping for at least another year, right?  When you can, take some time for yourself.  You won't regret it.
4. There's nothing wrong with enjoying your meal.  And, if you don't like something, don't eat it.  Now, I am not saying spit it out in disgust like this little one does, but hey, why waste time on the stuff you don't want?
5. Dance like no one is watching and if they are make them dance like a fool with you.  This little girl has some moves.  They are hysterical and all her own making.  She doesn't care what the music is and she doesn't care who is around.  I am going to start to work on this one.  Being carefree is a release.  So, why don't we let go a little more often?
6. There's nothing wrong with a few snuggles with the ones you love.  Kisses, hugs and comforting quiet time with our family can be incredibly healing.  Eastyn has shown me (again) how amazing it is to embrace someone completely unguarded with the only intention being that of comfort.  I am going to work on being more open to loving the ones I have surrounding me.  Hugs can be so powerful.
7. The mundane tasks of every day life don't have to be so "boring".  This baby loves to "help" me with laundry.  She gets giddy when the big bucket enters the room filled with clothes still warm from the dryer.  She immediately starts to laugh and grab the clothes and run around the room with them.  When she is around, doing laundry doesn't seem so bad.  I am going to try and let go just a little bit more.  The laundry might take a little longer these days and well....the house isn't quite as clean as it used to be but I have to admit I am enjoying the process alot more this past year than ever before.

They all might seem like little things, but these days, the little things have become the big things.  Today, I am thankful I have had the last year to be reminded of the little things from this little person.  Life might not be perfect, some might even say far from it.  But, I think after E wakes up, we will try a  little dancing.  And I'll continue to believe.

Ms. Perfect (Maybe not)

Okay, I think we have definitely established I love what I do.  But, there is a down side to it.  The image the client has of themselves.  You know what I am talking about.  The self critical little voice in our heads.  The one that critiques every little part of us we may feel uncomfortable with.  Maybe you think your forehead is too big.  Your hair is too thin.  Your face is too "fat" (I hear this one often).  Or better yet, the "if onlys".  If only I could lose 20 pounds.  If only my hair was curly.  If only my hair was straight.  If only my hair was long.  If only I wasn't going gray.  Or even better, I am handed a photo of a super model and asked to recreate her hair on my client...the model has long straight hair.  The client...curly short hair.  Umm...okay...
I confess.  I am extremely self critical.  I have managed to pack on a good portion of the "baby weight" as I have found comfort in stuffing my face and sitting on my butt while going through this stressful time.  I justify the behavior with how busy life is with four kids.  The gym is just IMPOSSIBLE to get to.  And yet,  I feel parts jiggle that I didn't even know I had.  And I shame myself for not being more self disciplined.  And I get pissed when I have to suck in as much as possible to get my pants to zip up.  The Victoria's Secret catalog comes in the mail and I throw it in the trash as fast as I can because though I order the necessities from them, I can't stand to look at the "perfect" bodies that fill the pages.  They are yet another reminder of what I am not.
I find we do this with everything in life.  We see someone wearing a new outfit that looks amazing.  And we are sporting our yoga pants and ponytails (yea I said it).  We see our neighbors moving into a beautiful home and we are sitting in the same townhouse we have been in for years.  Someone we know is headed to a tropical island while we continue the monotony of our day to day routine.  Ugh.
Then we go further with it.  We see our perfect friend and her perfect body and her perfect everything and we think...what. the. hell?!  How did I end up with these thunder thighs and she is a skinny minnie?  Why am I the one to be sitting at home while she goes to the beach and works on her tan?  Ms. Perfect.  Uh yea.  Let me tell you, it's a lie we tell ourselves when we do the self talk game.  Let's compare the "worst" of ourselves to the "best" of someone else.  Helpful?  No.  Culturally ingrained for most of us women?  Uh, yeah.
We all have "flaws".  We all have our "stuff".  Not one of us isn't riddled with some kind of longing to be better than we are by comparing ourselves to someone else or long to change something about our physical appearance because the model in the magazine is Ms Perfect.  Then there's our living situation, our job...you get the idea.
I was scrolling through facebook not too long ago when I came across a quote that has haunted me for weeks now.  And when I say haunted, I mean YUCK!  It said "Everything happens for a reason.  Or maybe you're just dumb and make bad decisions". Ugh.
Haven't we all struggled with something?  Physical, emotional, financial.  Whatever it may be, do we put ourselves right where we are in life?  Yes.  But even if we aren't Ms. Perfect, could it be that where we are is exactly where we are supposed to be?
So today, I sit here a little thicker in the middle than I would like.  It will come off.  I will get the motivation to work on it....sometime.  But what the hell.  I am going to go ahead and embrace it.  Having four babies and a few cookies got me here.  And, heading back to the gym will take care of that.  But for now, I am going to embrace this chub, the hair with a few gray strands that need coloring and face the world with a smile on my face.  And, I am going to pose the question...wouldn't it be better to lift each other up, flaws and all and embrace our differences?  I say let's give it a try.  And in the meantime, I will be at the salon to work on a few of the more reasonable requests of each of you.  (I am sure I have some great ideas for a new cut or color for summer.)  Let's start a revolution.  Let's ditch "Ms. Perfect".  I can feel the pressure I have put on myself lifting already.  How 'bout you?

Believe.

Real life Angels

There is something amazing that happens when times are tough.  It could be a death in the family, a divorce, the loss of a job, a family crisis.  I have tried over the last few months to understand it.  The people you least expect to be there, are there one hundred percent.  They might be people you hardly even know.  And then, the ones you thought would be there suddenly vanish.  Crazy, but true.
I had a client come in this week who is the wife of a pastor. I have started to get to know her over the past few months and she is without a doubt one of my angels.  She is beautiful and soft spoken.  And, when I say she is beautiful, I am not just talking about her physical appearance, but more her spirit.  She walked into the salon for her cut and took one look at me, and instead of a haircut, I was the one who got the therapy. 
I am not one to easily hide when I am struggling.  Unfortunately, I was blessed with the beautiful dark circles that magically appear under my eyes when I am sick, sad or tired.  Or, even worse all three.  (Two of my four munchkins have been lucky enough to inherit this wonderful feature.  To both of them, I am so sorry).  To my angel, these dark circles were a dead giveaway to my inner struggles.  So, instead of a haircut, we talked for quite some time with the radio playing in the background.  She lifted me up with her advice and inspiration. And then the strangest thing happened.  She asked me to pray with her and the radio went to a low hum of static.  She prayed for me and the music didn't interrupt.  It was a moment I will never forget.  I am so thankful for moments like these.  They remind me there is a power greater than myself looking out for me.  And,  when I seem to forget this, there is always a reminder.
Not every day can be "the best day".  And, not everyone in our lives can be there when we need them.  I don't think it's that they don't want to necessarily.  But rather, they don't know how.  So, those angels who step in and offer a helping hand, accept it.  Embrace it.
I was whining to a very close friend of mine about how isolated I feel right now.  The response I got was "your friends are there, but maybe you are the one distancing yourself from them".  This is probably true to a point.  And, maybe this whole life change has changed me.  Maybe the people I once wanted or needed in my life aren't the ones who will be there when this process is over.  But, one thing I know for sure.  When you feel the lowest, there will always be someone there to reach out a hand, and help lift you up.  Those angels don't care what time it is, or what you need.  They will go to whatever lengths they have to and try to help.  I have experienced it over and over.  I know these people have helped carry me through on the days when I wasn't quite sure I could take anymore.
Who are your angels?  When have they stepped in and helped out?  And how did they do it?  Have you reached out and thanked them?  To all my angels who have held my hand through the past few months, or even longer, I say thank you.
Believe.

My Thankfuls

I had a client come in yesterday for a haircut.  I have to admit she and her daughter are so similar in their personalities, it's scary.  They have this dry sense of humor that brightens my day every time either one of them walks into the salon.  And, if I get the two of them together, even better.  
I haven't been having the easiest time these days.  Now, when I say this I am not complaining.  I am simply stating the obvious.  And, this wonderful client put it perfectly.  "Here's Stacey, and here's the black cloud!"  Umm...yea.  I would say so.  It has been more than a rough couple of months.  So today's blog starts with a quote I am going to use to remind myself daily, "This too shall pass" and I am going to throw out a list of things I am thankful for. Every night before I go to bed for the past few months, this ritual has been a part of my bedtime routine.  I have to come up with at least three things I am thankful for. I am hoping this will inspire you, my dear reader, to dig deep and think of the things you are thankful for.  Or, better yet, post them in my comments section.  I can't think of a better way to start the day.  And, if that stupid black cloud is still around, I am going to start leaving the house with an umbrella regardless of weather or not the sun is shining.

1. I am thankful my son is alive and healthy.  His accident was one of the scariest days of my life.  His angels were watching out for him.
2. I am thankful my littlest is going to be one in about a week.  She is one of the brightest spots on my life with her chubby cheeks and her carefree view of the world.
3. I am thankful for a career I love which makes it never feel like work.
4. I am thankful for the "hair challenges" that come through the door of the salon.  They make me giddy...most of the time.
5. I am thankful I work with someone who makes me laugh and makes work even more enjoyable.  She is definitely my hair soul mate.
6. I am thankful for the people who have lifted me up and helped carry me on the darkest days of this storm.  Meals, moving, texts, phone calls, you name it.
7. I am thankful for those who haven't been there for me through this time.  They have taught me lessons I didn't know I needed to learn.
8. I am thankful for my faith.  I know it will get better.  And, I am beginning to hear those angels singing a little louder every day.
9. I am thankful for my "person".  Everyone has one.  That one person who seems to be there through it all and never gives up on you.  The one who makes life a little sweeter just because they are in it.
10. I am thankful I am stronger than I was yesterday and I will be even stronger tomorrow because of this dark cloud.  So, I say, bring it on.  It might not be what I expected, but then again, who said life is what we plan it to be anyway?

Believe.