Ms. Perfect (Maybe not)

Okay, I think we have definitely established I love what I do.  But, there is a down side to it.  The image the client has of themselves.  You know what I am talking about.  The self critical little voice in our heads.  The one that critiques every little part of us we may feel uncomfortable with.  Maybe you think your forehead is too big.  Your hair is too thin.  Your face is too "fat" (I hear this one often).  Or better yet, the "if onlys".  If only I could lose 20 pounds.  If only my hair was curly.  If only my hair was straight.  If only my hair was long.  If only I wasn't going gray.  Or even better, I am handed a photo of a super model and asked to recreate her hair on my client...the model has long straight hair.  The client...curly short hair.  Umm...okay...
I confess.  I am extremely self critical.  I have managed to pack on a good portion of the "baby weight" as I have found comfort in stuffing my face and sitting on my butt while going through this stressful time.  I justify the behavior with how busy life is with four kids.  The gym is just IMPOSSIBLE to get to.  And yet,  I feel parts jiggle that I didn't even know I had.  And I shame myself for not being more self disciplined.  And I get pissed when I have to suck in as much as possible to get my pants to zip up.  The Victoria's Secret catalog comes in the mail and I throw it in the trash as fast as I can because though I order the necessities from them, I can't stand to look at the "perfect" bodies that fill the pages.  They are yet another reminder of what I am not.
I find we do this with everything in life.  We see someone wearing a new outfit that looks amazing.  And we are sporting our yoga pants and ponytails (yea I said it).  We see our neighbors moving into a beautiful home and we are sitting in the same townhouse we have been in for years.  Someone we know is headed to a tropical island while we continue the monotony of our day to day routine.  Ugh.
Then we go further with it.  We see our perfect friend and her perfect body and her perfect everything and we think...what. the. hell?!  How did I end up with these thunder thighs and she is a skinny minnie?  Why am I the one to be sitting at home while she goes to the beach and works on her tan?  Ms. Perfect.  Uh yea.  Let me tell you, it's a lie we tell ourselves when we do the self talk game.  Let's compare the "worst" of ourselves to the "best" of someone else.  Helpful?  No.  Culturally ingrained for most of us women?  Uh, yeah.
We all have "flaws".  We all have our "stuff".  Not one of us isn't riddled with some kind of longing to be better than we are by comparing ourselves to someone else or long to change something about our physical appearance because the model in the magazine is Ms Perfect.  Then there's our living situation, our job...you get the idea.
I was scrolling through facebook not too long ago when I came across a quote that has haunted me for weeks now.  And when I say haunted, I mean YUCK!  It said "Everything happens for a reason.  Or maybe you're just dumb and make bad decisions". Ugh.
Haven't we all struggled with something?  Physical, emotional, financial.  Whatever it may be, do we put ourselves right where we are in life?  Yes.  But even if we aren't Ms. Perfect, could it be that where we are is exactly where we are supposed to be?
So today, I sit here a little thicker in the middle than I would like.  It will come off.  I will get the motivation to work on it....sometime.  But what the hell.  I am going to go ahead and embrace it.  Having four babies and a few cookies got me here.  And, heading back to the gym will take care of that.  But for now, I am going to embrace this chub, the hair with a few gray strands that need coloring and face the world with a smile on my face.  And, I am going to pose the question...wouldn't it be better to lift each other up, flaws and all and embrace our differences?  I say let's give it a try.  And in the meantime, I will be at the salon to work on a few of the more reasonable requests of each of you.  (I am sure I have some great ideas for a new cut or color for summer.)  Let's start a revolution.  Let's ditch "Ms. Perfect".  I can feel the pressure I have put on myself lifting already.  How 'bout you?

Believe.