Hey you, remember me?

                                                                                                                October 21, 2014

 It’s been awhile. I am sure for most of you, my little online journal has been nothing but a distant memory of a hairdresser or friend who posted a few bright/thought provoking…err, well, maybe even cliché type ideas a couple times a month.  For me, this little spot in my busy life was the one where I would be most myself and not actually be behind the chair.  For months, I have let my little spot sit quietly.  I would sit and stare at a blank screen occasionally and wonder if there was anything nice to say.  And, if I didn’t have anything nice to say, would anyone really want to listen?

There is a time in everyone’s life, whether we choose to admit it or not, where we aren’t the most pleasant person in the room.  It can happen when we least expect it or it can be something we see coming for a long time.  Regardless of how it happens, we make choices in our life that can occasionally lead us to a place we never thought we would be.  And, once we get there, well, let’s just say there are only two choices.  We either sit in it, or we dig our way out.  What’s even harder to come to terms with is the time it can take to “fix” what’s broken.

So, my dear reader, like a car that needed fine tuning, I have been  out of commission and focusing on the fine tuning.  Let’s face it.  It is impossible for me to be your hairapist without taking the time to look inward…even if I don’t always like what I see.  It’s through times like these an outgoing bubbly personality like mine can take on the quiet persona that even the ones closest to me worry about what could possibly be happening.  And, even more importantly,  when will I bounce back?   And though I may not like the approach, I got a really sharp sting to my emotional “face” when I was told not so tactfully, “If you think this was bad for you, imagine how it was for the rest of us to deal with you.”  YOWZA!!  And, now, message received.

I can’t say I am the same “old me”.  But, I can say I am finding an inner peace I didn’t know I had.  And, well, I am also waking up creatively (I know, you missed me, right?) and longing for the next step again.  I no longer feel like an empty shell of myself.  And, better yet, I am reaching out again and serving others.  There is nothing more healing than to take part in the healing process with someone who is experiencing even more pain than you are, my friend.  It doesn’t have to be during working hours, and well, it doesn’t even have to be some grand gesture.  But, if there is one thing I have learned through these quiet months, it is this:  Everyone in this world wants to be heard and wants to know they matter.  So I ask you, what can you do today to reach out to someone and let them know they are loved?  When was the last time you let someone know they how important they are?  I challenge you to do something small to reach out to another.  I promise, they won’t see it as small.  And, above all else, I promise the world will be a little brighter today because of you.

And, of course, remember to believe.

Today will never come again

I am a morning person.  I wake up and I am ready to go.  Even if what I have to look forward to doesn't seem all that exciting, I am up and ready to face the day.  I love love love mornings!
For some this can be an annoying fact.  For those who like to sleep in, I apologize for my morning excitement.  I guess I am thinking about all the things the day might hold and I get out of bed and make my coffee in anticipation.
So, I sit here with my coffee this morning, a little earlier than normal.  I had a hard time sleeping last night.  It is never good to receive bad news from a friend.  And, it is even harder to get the news before bed.  And the question weighing heavy on my heart is this:  Why do we wait until we hear/experience something life altering to WAKE UP and make today count?  If each day is a gift, I am the first to admit, I have let more than a few pass by without giving thanks.  And, well, let's just say some days I may even dread...and when bedtime rolls around, I am extremely relieved the day is over and whatever it was I had to face is now checked off the list.  But what if there wasn't a tomorrow?  What if today is THE day.  The day where we are supposed to make every moment count because it could be our last?
Hard to even comprehend for me.  But today, I am going to try a little experiment.  I am going to try and take today and make it count.  Every moment of it.  I am going to make sure all of my interactions with others are exactly as I would want them to be if today was my last.  I am going to make sure those around me know how much I love them.  I am going to be thankful for my health.  For my family.  And, I am going to keep a certain family in my thoughts and prayers all day long.  For what they are facing today is far more difficult than my struggles today.
And, I am going to challenge you, my dear reader.  If today were your last, what would you do?  And though you may not be able to do exactly what you would do if it were your last, what about trying to treat others as if it were your last?
Let's try it and see what happens.  And let's not forget to believe.

Sharing our Gifts. Pass it on.

I had the opportunity before I started working in the salon I do now, to work in a very large salon.  And as some of you may know...women can be a tad "catty".  Yes, I know.  Shocker.  It is something I find a challenge in the business of making people look good.  Though there are men in the business too, it seems things can get slightly tense with the women especially.  I like the competitive ideas the-place-that-shall-remain-nameless had, but I like where I am even more now because there is team work.
Penny has been hairdressing for much longer than I have.  She has a comfort in the salon with her clients I admire very much.  They are like family to her.  And yet, she is able to keep things very professional too.  And, even better, she is open to new ideas.  I think we are the perfect team.  She shows me how to be calm, professional and business minded.  And I show her how to be more assertive and creative (I get her to think outside the box).  Working with her has never been competitive and yet we have managed to build each other up and make our business stronger.
Yesterday, we had a few hours to work together.  She had one of our old coworkers in the chair and I had my lovely pastor's wife in my chair.  The conversation was great and so was the energy in the salon.  Penny's client (who is a good friend to both of us) wanted a specific cut.  Though I was listening to my client with one ear, I was listening to Penny's with my other.  The cut they were referring to is one of my favorites.  I didn't hesitate when asked to come over and refresh Penny's memory on the cut.  
The beauty of the situation?  There was no pride, no "I'm better than you moment".  It was two women working together to make some look and feel beautiful.
What talents do you possess?  Are you sharing them with others?  Are you allowing the best of you to show and helping to build each other up?  Like pieces of a puzzle, we are all supposed to fit together in some way.  Given the opportunity, no matter what your talents, let them shine.
I love to teach.  And given the opportunity to educate a client or help my amazing coworker, I love it.  And I do it with humility and the desire to make the other person better.
Today, I challenge you to take one opportunity to let your best self shine.  Now what are you going to do with it?  Believe.

Lessons from my one year old Munchkin

Photo credits to the Amazingly Talented Heather Sippel.  She made Little Eastyn's birthday extra special with her photography.


It's mid afternoon and I am blogging.  In the quiet.  This, for any mother with four kids, is unheard of.  I am giddy like I was as a teenager when I would get to drive my dad's convertible with the top down on a sunny day.  My how life has changed.  So the wind might not be blowing through my hair but I am blessed to be sitting in the peace and quiet allowing my thoughts to flow freely.
Now, you may be seeing the title of this blog and if you don't have kids, you may be wondering if there is anything you can get out of it.  But, the fact is, there's more than a few things this little person has taught me.  Some are motherly lessons and some are just about life.

1. When you are ready to do something, do it.  This little one was quite comfortable in her space.  She came when she was good and ready and NO ONE was going to rush her out of her comfort zone.  But when she was ready, she made her entrance quickly and gracefully and was shining for the whole room to see.
2. When you're not happy with a situation, make it known.  Chances are if you speak up loud enough, you will be heard.  She may be number four, but she isn't one to sit back quietly while the others over power her.  The point is, you may feel like the little person in the room but you have a voice, so use it!
3. There is nothing wrong with taking a time out.  In her case a nap.  Well, let's just say, I have finally given in a few times to the age old advice "when your baby is napping you should nap".  I haven't done it much but when I have, I feel like a new person.  I believe I will continue this tradition occasionally as much as I can for as long as I can.  After all, she will be napping for at least another year, right?  When you can, take some time for yourself.  You won't regret it.
4. There's nothing wrong with enjoying your meal.  And, if you don't like something, don't eat it.  Now, I am not saying spit it out in disgust like this little one does, but hey, why waste time on the stuff you don't want?
5. Dance like no one is watching and if they are make them dance like a fool with you.  This little girl has some moves.  They are hysterical and all her own making.  She doesn't care what the music is and she doesn't care who is around.  I am going to start to work on this one.  Being carefree is a release.  So, why don't we let go a little more often?
6. There's nothing wrong with a few snuggles with the ones you love.  Kisses, hugs and comforting quiet time with our family can be incredibly healing.  Eastyn has shown me (again) how amazing it is to embrace someone completely unguarded with the only intention being that of comfort.  I am going to work on being more open to loving the ones I have surrounding me.  Hugs can be so powerful.
7. The mundane tasks of every day life don't have to be so "boring".  This baby loves to "help" me with laundry.  She gets giddy when the big bucket enters the room filled with clothes still warm from the dryer.  She immediately starts to laugh and grab the clothes and run around the room with them.  When she is around, doing laundry doesn't seem so bad.  I am going to try and let go just a little bit more.  The laundry might take a little longer these days and well....the house isn't quite as clean as it used to be but I have to admit I am enjoying the process alot more this past year than ever before.

They all might seem like little things, but these days, the little things have become the big things.  Today, I am thankful I have had the last year to be reminded of the little things from this little person.  Life might not be perfect, some might even say far from it.  But, I think after E wakes up, we will try a  little dancing.  And I'll continue to believe.

Ms. Perfect (Maybe not)

Okay, I think we have definitely established I love what I do.  But, there is a down side to it.  The image the client has of themselves.  You know what I am talking about.  The self critical little voice in our heads.  The one that critiques every little part of us we may feel uncomfortable with.  Maybe you think your forehead is too big.  Your hair is too thin.  Your face is too "fat" (I hear this one often).  Or better yet, the "if onlys".  If only I could lose 20 pounds.  If only my hair was curly.  If only my hair was straight.  If only my hair was long.  If only I wasn't going gray.  Or even better, I am handed a photo of a super model and asked to recreate her hair on my client...the model has long straight hair.  The client...curly short hair.  Umm...okay...
I confess.  I am extremely self critical.  I have managed to pack on a good portion of the "baby weight" as I have found comfort in stuffing my face and sitting on my butt while going through this stressful time.  I justify the behavior with how busy life is with four kids.  The gym is just IMPOSSIBLE to get to.  And yet,  I feel parts jiggle that I didn't even know I had.  And I shame myself for not being more self disciplined.  And I get pissed when I have to suck in as much as possible to get my pants to zip up.  The Victoria's Secret catalog comes in the mail and I throw it in the trash as fast as I can because though I order the necessities from them, I can't stand to look at the "perfect" bodies that fill the pages.  They are yet another reminder of what I am not.
I find we do this with everything in life.  We see someone wearing a new outfit that looks amazing.  And we are sporting our yoga pants and ponytails (yea I said it).  We see our neighbors moving into a beautiful home and we are sitting in the same townhouse we have been in for years.  Someone we know is headed to a tropical island while we continue the monotony of our day to day routine.  Ugh.
Then we go further with it.  We see our perfect friend and her perfect body and her perfect everything and we think...what. the. hell?!  How did I end up with these thunder thighs and she is a skinny minnie?  Why am I the one to be sitting at home while she goes to the beach and works on her tan?  Ms. Perfect.  Uh yea.  Let me tell you, it's a lie we tell ourselves when we do the self talk game.  Let's compare the "worst" of ourselves to the "best" of someone else.  Helpful?  No.  Culturally ingrained for most of us women?  Uh, yeah.
We all have "flaws".  We all have our "stuff".  Not one of us isn't riddled with some kind of longing to be better than we are by comparing ourselves to someone else or long to change something about our physical appearance because the model in the magazine is Ms Perfect.  Then there's our living situation, our job...you get the idea.
I was scrolling through facebook not too long ago when I came across a quote that has haunted me for weeks now.  And when I say haunted, I mean YUCK!  It said "Everything happens for a reason.  Or maybe you're just dumb and make bad decisions". Ugh.
Haven't we all struggled with something?  Physical, emotional, financial.  Whatever it may be, do we put ourselves right where we are in life?  Yes.  But even if we aren't Ms. Perfect, could it be that where we are is exactly where we are supposed to be?
So today, I sit here a little thicker in the middle than I would like.  It will come off.  I will get the motivation to work on it....sometime.  But what the hell.  I am going to go ahead and embrace it.  Having four babies and a few cookies got me here.  And, heading back to the gym will take care of that.  But for now, I am going to embrace this chub, the hair with a few gray strands that need coloring and face the world with a smile on my face.  And, I am going to pose the question...wouldn't it be better to lift each other up, flaws and all and embrace our differences?  I say let's give it a try.  And in the meantime, I will be at the salon to work on a few of the more reasonable requests of each of you.  (I am sure I have some great ideas for a new cut or color for summer.)  Let's start a revolution.  Let's ditch "Ms. Perfect".  I can feel the pressure I have put on myself lifting already.  How 'bout you?

Believe.

Real life Angels

There is something amazing that happens when times are tough.  It could be a death in the family, a divorce, the loss of a job, a family crisis.  I have tried over the last few months to understand it.  The people you least expect to be there, are there one hundred percent.  They might be people you hardly even know.  And then, the ones you thought would be there suddenly vanish.  Crazy, but true.
I had a client come in this week who is the wife of a pastor. I have started to get to know her over the past few months and she is without a doubt one of my angels.  She is beautiful and soft spoken.  And, when I say she is beautiful, I am not just talking about her physical appearance, but more her spirit.  She walked into the salon for her cut and took one look at me, and instead of a haircut, I was the one who got the therapy. 
I am not one to easily hide when I am struggling.  Unfortunately, I was blessed with the beautiful dark circles that magically appear under my eyes when I am sick, sad or tired.  Or, even worse all three.  (Two of my four munchkins have been lucky enough to inherit this wonderful feature.  To both of them, I am so sorry).  To my angel, these dark circles were a dead giveaway to my inner struggles.  So, instead of a haircut, we talked for quite some time with the radio playing in the background.  She lifted me up with her advice and inspiration. And then the strangest thing happened.  She asked me to pray with her and the radio went to a low hum of static.  She prayed for me and the music didn't interrupt.  It was a moment I will never forget.  I am so thankful for moments like these.  They remind me there is a power greater than myself looking out for me.  And,  when I seem to forget this, there is always a reminder.
Not every day can be "the best day".  And, not everyone in our lives can be there when we need them.  I don't think it's that they don't want to necessarily.  But rather, they don't know how.  So, those angels who step in and offer a helping hand, accept it.  Embrace it.
I was whining to a very close friend of mine about how isolated I feel right now.  The response I got was "your friends are there, but maybe you are the one distancing yourself from them".  This is probably true to a point.  And, maybe this whole life change has changed me.  Maybe the people I once wanted or needed in my life aren't the ones who will be there when this process is over.  But, one thing I know for sure.  When you feel the lowest, there will always be someone there to reach out a hand, and help lift you up.  Those angels don't care what time it is, or what you need.  They will go to whatever lengths they have to and try to help.  I have experienced it over and over.  I know these people have helped carry me through on the days when I wasn't quite sure I could take anymore.
Who are your angels?  When have they stepped in and helped out?  And how did they do it?  Have you reached out and thanked them?  To all my angels who have held my hand through the past few months, or even longer, I say thank you.
Believe.

My Thankfuls

I had a client come in yesterday for a haircut.  I have to admit she and her daughter are so similar in their personalities, it's scary.  They have this dry sense of humor that brightens my day every time either one of them walks into the salon.  And, if I get the two of them together, even better.  
I haven't been having the easiest time these days.  Now, when I say this I am not complaining.  I am simply stating the obvious.  And, this wonderful client put it perfectly.  "Here's Stacey, and here's the black cloud!"  Umm...yea.  I would say so.  It has been more than a rough couple of months.  So today's blog starts with a quote I am going to use to remind myself daily, "This too shall pass" and I am going to throw out a list of things I am thankful for. Every night before I go to bed for the past few months, this ritual has been a part of my bedtime routine.  I have to come up with at least three things I am thankful for. I am hoping this will inspire you, my dear reader, to dig deep and think of the things you are thankful for.  Or, better yet, post them in my comments section.  I can't think of a better way to start the day.  And, if that stupid black cloud is still around, I am going to start leaving the house with an umbrella regardless of weather or not the sun is shining.

1. I am thankful my son is alive and healthy.  His accident was one of the scariest days of my life.  His angels were watching out for him.
2. I am thankful my littlest is going to be one in about a week.  She is one of the brightest spots on my life with her chubby cheeks and her carefree view of the world.
3. I am thankful for a career I love which makes it never feel like work.
4. I am thankful for the "hair challenges" that come through the door of the salon.  They make me giddy...most of the time.
5. I am thankful I work with someone who makes me laugh and makes work even more enjoyable.  She is definitely my hair soul mate.
6. I am thankful for the people who have lifted me up and helped carry me on the darkest days of this storm.  Meals, moving, texts, phone calls, you name it.
7. I am thankful for those who haven't been there for me through this time.  They have taught me lessons I didn't know I needed to learn.
8. I am thankful for my faith.  I know it will get better.  And, I am beginning to hear those angels singing a little louder every day.
9. I am thankful for my "person".  Everyone has one.  That one person who seems to be there through it all and never gives up on you.  The one who makes life a little sweeter just because they are in it.
10. I am thankful I am stronger than I was yesterday and I will be even stronger tomorrow because of this dark cloud.  So, I say, bring it on.  It might not be what I expected, but then again, who said life is what we plan it to be anyway?

Believe.

Confessions of an (almost) Ponytail

Those of you who know me know how I feel about the (dreaded) ponytail.  Yes, there is a time and a place for this 'do, but the fact is, I just don't like them.  Working out, cleaning house, new baby, fine.  But if you are sporting this look to work...you need an intervention.
Due to the chaos in my life, I have been on a haircut strike.  Yes, this hairdresser, who always has the polished perfect look is just letting it go.  I am lucky to get the gray hairs covered these days due to how busy Penny and I have been.  Yes Penny, that is a hint.  So, while caring for my son and running around the house yesterday, I found myself calling out to my teenager "Do you have a ponytail holder?"  Yeah, I said it.  And, within a few minutes I had a nub of hair on the back of my head.  It isn't quite long enough to look like the horse's a@# I usually refer to, but the fact is, I went there.  And, I have to admit for the chaos I was dealing with in the house, it was worth it.  So ladies, I am going to stop giving you a hard time for the next few hot months when you stroll into the salon with your 'do in the dreaded ponytail.  And, I am going to sport mine only in the comfort of my own home with no witnesses but the family.
Please let me be clear, I am happier with a beautiful blowout on each and every one of us, but let's face it.  Sometimes ya just need to throw it back and look like a horse's a@#. 

Testing 1...2...3...

 

When I tell you this family is on overload, I am not exaggerating.  We are definitely being tested in every way possible.  I remember a few short months ago, as I was starting my journey with blogging, thinking about what might be ahead of me.  I felt like I was meant to do "something more".  I meditated and prayed about it daily.  I thought my angels were trying to let me know I was needed in some other way than just my day to day routine.  I was ready for whatever it was.  I guess I was not specific enough in my prayers because I had NO idea what I was about to be hit with.  And, I am sure this is how it is for most people when they are hit with many big things all at once.
I was at work this past week when I got the word my youngest son was in an accident.  Without getting into too many details of it, we have been in a helicopter, spent a few nights in the hospital and he has had surgery to repair a broken femur.  He is home and recovering and we are finally getting the added medical attention we need at home to function and help him heal.  This mom is now taking a deep breath, letting it all sink in and recognizing how "lucky" we are and how much worse it could have been.  I believe the word would be gratitude. 
So, I have headed back to work.  Because as all small business owners know, you aren't getting paid if you aren't working.  I have every intention when I head into work to give my all to everyone who comes through the door.  But, I am human.  And, sometimes I fall short due to the distractions of my other roles.  Namely, being a mom.  I believe I needed a reminder of the need for a separation of home and work.  And, I have taken this lesson to heart and am going to make a conscious effort to pull it together.  The reality of life is, when we get hit with "stuff", it is usually a bunch of stuff all at once.  I tend to use the term s@#$ storm.  It seems like the only appropriate description of what happens when one is slammed with life's challenges all at once and it all comes at you so fast, it hits like a tornado.
During these times, it is so easy to be negative.  And even more so, to be angry.  I have been angrier than I think I have ever been.  I have focused on the loss of friendships, the lack of support from people I thought "should" be there.  I have been filled with resentment and hurt.  I have painted myself the victim and made "them" the offender.  Plain and simple.  I have been pissed at the world.  I have suppressed the anger and put on a happy face all the while holding in the giant ball of anger in my gut.  And while it has been eating away at me, I have played the blame game.
As I got done a rather stressful and intense day at work yesterday I had a little bit of time to reflect.  I was peaceful all day even through the next phase of the storm.  I had clients ask about my son and his condition along with other things that might trigger a string of negativity and I was cool as a cucumber.  As I got in the car and thought about my day, I was shocked at how calm I had been.
I was calm because I realized for the first time in the last couple of months that I am not the only one in a storm of chaos and stress.  Yes, simple concept, I know.  And yet, the intense level of stress has caused me to pull into a shell and cripple me from seeing others and their needs and stresses.  Huh.  I am not alone.  And, being angry has gotten me nowhere.  If anything, it has added to the chaos and stress and made things just a little bit harder for everyone in the house.  Go figure.
So, I am letting go.  I am releasing the hurt of a life long friend.  I am going to stop shaking a fist in the air at the people who I expected to be there.  I am going to stop blaming and I am going to start listening to the angels again.  I am going to take the ball of anger and trash it.  It is only harming me and those around me.  I can't be a hairapist who's pissed.  They simply don't go together.
And, I am going to reflect on the positive.  My last client of the night last night has been an acquaintance I have wanted to get to know more.  For some reason, whenever she comes in, we have an incredible connection.  And yet, we haven't ever gotten together outside of the salon.  We have so much in common and our conversations run deep.  When I talk to her, I am comforted by our shared struggles and her sweet spirit.  I am thankful for her kindness and even more so, for the interaction with her at the end of my crazy day.  She helped me and probably doesn't even know it.
Through our family stresses, there have been so many who have dropped by with meals, care packages for my son, phone calls of support and so on.  These things just cannot be overlooked.  They are blessings.  They are living angels who have stepped in where others haven't or couldn't.  I have robbed myself and my family of those blessings by focusing so much on the negative.  I'm releasing it NOW.
As the weekend starts, and the s@#$ storm might continue, I am going to make the conscious choice to focus on the good stuff.  I am going to think of all the love that has been thrown our way.  I am going to rise above the ugliness I have no control over, realize I am not alone in the struggles of life, and keep on keepin' on.  And, of couse, I am going to Believe.

Why settle?

I have a client and friend of mine (actually she is the one who calls me her hairapist) and she requested a post on this subject of settling.  The request was weeks ago.  And, I have been thinking about it ever since.  Now please do not get this confused with my last post about expectations.  This isn't about the expectations we have of others or the stress we put on ourselves in our day to day life.  It's about what makes us happy.  And, why is that so many of us settle for less in life than what we really want?
This client I am referring to is a really intelligent woman.  She works hard at her job and she is feisty.  I love our conversations and I always take something away from them.  And one of the main topics of conversation is why she settles for a job she HATES.  Now, I am not sure if it is the work she hates or the company, but does it really matter?  Does it seem fulfilling to get up every morning with a feeling of dread about what lies ahead working for someone you can't stand?  What if it isn't your job?  What if it's other circumstances in your life?  Your weight?  Your relationship?  Your lack of motivation?  Why, why, why do we settle?!
I think one of the first answers is the fear of change.  Going outside of our comfort zone can be terrifying.  We get caught up in an internal game of "what if" instead of trusting out instincts or possibly even just taking a risk.  We think of all the things we have to "lose" if we take a leap of faith.
Another reason could be we get stuck.  There are periods of time where we get complacent for no other reason than a comfortable routine starts and before we know it, we have been in that same routine for weeks...months...years.  Yikes.  But isn't this life about growing and bettering ourselves?
I saw an interesting quote today.  I don't remember the exact wording but it was something like "does today look like something you would want written in the book of your life?"  I immediately thought of my unwashed and hair and makeupless face.  (So vain).  Then I thought about the time I spent with my baby.  The clean house.  The meal I was preparing for dinner.  And, the person I got to help with just a little bit of advice and some food to take home with him.  Every day isn't perfect.  But, I am right where I want to be today.  And, I am dreaming big.  And, you have my word I will make those dreams come true.
So in what part of your life are you settling?  And, what are you going to do to change it?  It's in your power to change those things you aren't happy with.  Don't settle for anything less.  And believe.

Expectations

Every day I go to work, it is with the anticipation of what lies ahead.  I never know if it will be a day of clients needing to unload emotional baggage and a serious hairapy session, or if it will be a day of excitement and new ideas.  Last week, I had a day I would compare to Christmas.  I had THREE new clients in ONE day!  This never happens.  I am usually seeing my "regulars".  And, please know I love each and every one.  But, there is something about a "newbie" that brings about an indescribable giddiness in me.  I find it hard to contain myself.  And many times, I get strange looks from this poor person who has no idea how passionate I am about what I do.  (To the people who really know me and my creative "process", they are probably chuckling right now).

This day was MIND. BLOWING.  Three people, all with different "hair issues" and they were all extreme makeovers.  I felt alive with creativity and was able to let the outside world go and savor every moment.  I had no expectations of what the day was to be, and it turned out to be AH-MAZING!  I came home on a natural high of a day filled with success. There is something truly incredible in the creative process when passion and talent come together and I see my client's face light up as they see the finished look in the mirror.  The craziest part about this?  They are trusting a complete stranger based off of one person telling them I am good at what I do.  Yikes.  Now that is pressure.  I always ask if they are nervous.  Sometimes the answer is yes (well, most of the time).  And sometimes the answer is no (followed by "it's just hair"...people, it is never "just hair" to me).

This day got me thinking about my life right now and all of the changes I have had going on.  I have been quiet on the blogging front because I wanted to reconnect with myself and make sure my blog wasn't veering away from what I wanted it to be.  I wanted an authentic view of the life of a hairapist with a twist of day to day life lessons.  I wanted to uplift the reader or at least get them thinking.  If my angels were down to a low hum (or I was just too distracted to listen) how was I going to be able to give anything to my reader?

I believe my biggest struggle has been expectations.  I set them for myself and for those around me.   And, when I fail to meet them, or the people around me do, I let it take me down.

My Christmas Day in the salon made me rethink this.  When there is no expectation, how can there be disappointment?  When we stop expecting people to act a certain way, or our day to head in a certain direction, disappointment isn't an option.  In it's place is the opportunity for magic to happen.

I was listening to an audio book in the car the other day from one of my favorite spiritual advisors.  She said if you take five minutes in the morning of quiet to be thankful for what you have and open your mind to the possibilities of the day, you will not be disappointed.  I tried it.  I thought, what do I have to lose?  It's five minutes.  And, you know what?  It worked.  Now, in my way of thinking, this was time to listen to those angels and let go of expectation.  For you, it may be viewed differently.  But, however you look at it, it's five mintues.  Try it.  What do you have to lose.  Let go of the expectations of yourself and those around you.  And believe.

Deal Breakers

I went to see a mentor/friend of mine the other day.  I respect him and his opinion so much.  We started talking about deal breakers.  He said he could never be married to a smoker.  He could handle addiction, mental illness, etc but he simply couldn’t handle a smoker. 

When I have a client in my chair, and I think they need to change something in order to enhance their look, I have to choose my words very carefully.  There is a difference between respectful honesty, and a hurtful attack.  I hope I have never made the mistake of giving a client my opinion (when they have asked for it) and had it come across as anything more than my opinion, respectfully.  After all, I have no idea what this person sitting in my chair is going through.  I have no idea what their day was like before they sat down in my chair.  And, as I have mentioned before, I have no idea what baggage they carry with them from the past that I cannot see but is a part of who they are.  So, I am real and true, but not hurtful.

There will always be deal breakers in every relationship.  We may not say what they are to our friends, we may assume they are understood, but those closest to us know our Achilles heel.  Or do they?

Last night, my daughter received a call from her father.  In order for me to explain, let me give you a little history.  We met when I was 13.  He was 17.  I was smitten.  He was charismatic and charming.  And, my parents couldn’t stand him.  He was the perfect combination for the exciting start of some dramatic teenage years.  We drifted in and out of each other’s lives until we met up again at college.  I HAD to be with him.  The 13 year old in me still thought at 18 he was superman.  The dream guy.  And so started a very short term marriage two months to the day after my eighteenth birthday.  We weren’t married but maybe a year when the abuse started.  He was verbally abusive at first, then it got physical.  My deal breaker was the day we moved back to Maryland from Utah.  Our precious little girl was 4 months old and we were having a petty argument.  He picked me up and threw me down onto the carpet covered cement floor of the basement and knocked me out.  And, for me, that was the beginning of the end.

My daughter has always been the light of this man’s life.  He has treated her like a princess…until recently.  He now talks to her the same way he has talked to me for years.  As they talked last night, I was reminded of the deal breaker.  Once she got off the phone with him (in tears), I called him to “put out the fire”.  Evidently, it didn’t matter what I had to say.  He had an axe to grind.  And so I let him yell for a while and then said goodbye, never allowing my temper to get the best of me.

I decided it was time to have the conversation with my beautiful daughter about deal breakers.  After all, she is 16.  And, she needs to know now, there are certain things that are just unacceptable.  And, she has a choice and a voice as to whether she is going to allow herself to be put in a situation she doesn’t feel is healthy for her.  I didn’t say “Don’t talk to your Dad”.  I simply said “If anyone talks to you in a way that upsets you and you feel you don’t deserve, end it”.  Deal breaker.

I realize this has been a theme for me lately.  I believe my angels are trying to get me to reach deep within and figure out what my deal breakers are and respect myself enough to have boundaries.  By doing this, it doesn’t have to mean the other person is right or wrong, it simply means it doesn’t fit in with what WE have chosen for our own lives.  And, sadly, sometimes it means reevaluating relationships we hold the closest and possibly even letting them go.  Even if it is a father.  Even if it is a best friend of many years.  Even if it is your partner.  If it is the difference between being true to yourself and living a life you know isn’t what you want, it’s a deal breaker.  Your angels can’t sing if you are sitting with someone blowing smoke in your face when that’s your deal breaker.  Your angels can’t sing when your father or friend is yelling at you.  It’s a deal breaker.

What is your deal breaker?  Do you have people in your life close to you who push that boundary?  How do you handle it?  In my silence the past few days, I have allowed myself the quiet reflection of looking at myself.  If I am going to be a better hairapist, mother and friend, I want to make sure I am treating others with kindness, respect and love.  And, if you are hitting my Achilles heel, knowing it is my Achilles heel, it’s a deal breaker.

So to my dear beautiful oldest daughter, I say to you, be true to yourself.  Honor the woman you are becoming.  Figure out what your deal breakers are NOW so in the future, no matter who it is, you will know to walk away from any situation that isn’t for your higher good.  This life is meant to be one of happiness and peace.  If it is me or your father or anyone else who doesn’t respect that, tell them.  If the behavior doesn’t change, love yourself enough to distance yourself from those who are toxic.  Sometimes being you means being you alone.  And you don’t need others approval to know this.  Just chalk it up to a deal breaker.  And believe.

A couple things...

A couple things I have learned this week:

1.      It is impossible to make everyone happy.  And, at the end of the day, we each have our own path.  Better to be happy with your life than to live it for someone else.

2.     It is okay to ask for help.  And it comes from the places you would least expect it.  Don’t be so prideful that in times of need you don’t reach out to someone you trust and tell them you need help.  The right person will always be there at the right time.

3.     People will let you down.  Some of the people you thought you could rely on either can’t understand, don’t want you to make the choices you make, or simply don’t care to be supportive.  It’s not their fault.  It’s who they are.  And, it’s okay to be different.  But, it is also important to know when enough is enough.  Don’t allow these people in your space when you are vulnerable.  It can be dangerous.

4.     Facebook has been an addiction for me.  I had no idea how many times in a day I would pick up my phone to check on what others were doing out of habit.  I have deleted my account (for several reasons) and though I may at some point go back, for now, it has freed me of a vice I didn’t even realize I had.  I am happy to be off social media for now.  And, I am thankful it is one less way for my feathers to be ruffled by someone else’s “stuff”.

5.     I am a rock.  I may not be perfect and I may not always get it right, but at the end of the day, I stand up for what I believe in and I will always keep on fighting for myself, my kids and what I think is right.  After all, isn’t this the way we learn the lessons of life?

Believe.

The Roller Coaster

Do you remember the first time you rode on a roller coaster?  The anticipation of what was going to happen next was almost unbearable.  The click click click of the car moving up the track and you knew what was ahead.  A drop so fast and so hard, it made your stomach rise up into your throat.  I am on that roller coaster.  Some moments it feels like the good kind.  The highs of a good cup of coffee and the sunshine, and my sweet baby laughing are the moments I am clinging to.  And then there are those moments when I am headed down the slope on the other side and I feel like my stomach is in my throat and I desperately long to get off the ride.  What was I thinking?!

I have watched countless people come and go in my chair as their hairapist.  Some are peaceful and we banter back and forth about the day to day kinds of things.  The weather, their kids, their job.  And then there are those who are struggling.  I mean really struggling.  Cancer, the loss of a child, a divorce, addiction.  And I have always listened carefully and if needed, I have tried to comfort those I can.  I never thought I was immune to heartache because Lord knows I have felt it before.  But these past few years, my life has been fairly good.  I have been raising my kids (with some struggles along the way) and buying a house and getting married.  I don’t know what happens when we settle into a comfortable routine of day to day living.  I don’t know if I thought I was immune to struggles.  I don’t know if I finally thought it was my turn to be happy.  But, I chose to turn a blind eye to a big problem.  And I have been asking myself over and over again, HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED THIS?

Even bigger than the problems we face in our lives is the reaction we get from others.  It is crazy to think when we haven’t walked in another’s shoes, we somehow think we know how to handle and advise them on their pain.  Heartbreak of any kind is so deeply personal.  Not one person handles it the same as another.  And, regardless of our best intentions, these things need to be handled in a tender way. 

I have made my fair share of mistakes through my pain.  I have shared too much.  And then there are times where I haven’t shared enough.  But, I had a moment of clarity last night.  I was on the phone with my little sister.  She has battled her fair share of demons.  I knew she was the one to call.  I knew she would understand my pain.  She simply said “why do you care what other people think”?  Excuse me for those I offend with the words…HOLY.  SHIT.  DUH!  I have felt so strongly for the past few months about what I needed to do to rectify my situation.  I have exhausted all resources available.  So why in the heck, when I had my own personal confirmation I was doing the right thing, am I worried about what others have to say?  HA!  I feel like she smacked me upside my head.  She jolted me back to my reality.  My truth is, I deserve to be happy.  I deserve to live an authentic life.  I deserve to be healthy and give my children the best mom possible.  No amount of negativity is going to change what I know in my heart to be true.

I am now on the roller coaster.  Strapped in.  Ready to go.  I am going to scream with fear at some points.  I am going to be excited about the anticipation at others.  But the one thing I now know for sure is, though I am not alone on the ride, the experience of it is mine.

Thank you little sis.  Last night, you were one of my angels.  And this morning, I can hear them singing again because of your wise words.  Even now, it amazes me how the “right” person is there at exactly the time when you need them the most.  We are never really alone.

Believe.

A Journey of My Own

Because of what I do for a living, people automatically assume I am social all the time.  I think there is a little bit of a shock factor even for those close to me when I get very quiet before making a major life decision.  And, for some reason, I expect the people I love the most to jump on board my life train and cheer me on.  Why am I surprised when this doesn’t happen?! 

Each one of us is on our own journey.  There are people who come and go from our lives constantly.  Then there are the ones who even when you don’t talk regularly, they are there.

Before becoming a hairapist, I was a stay at home mom of three.  I was really good at it.  I made meals, went shopping (spending all of my husband’s hard earned money), did laundry, and made a best friend.  She was really good at spending money too.  We were the BEST of friends.  I would make cookies and make sure there was always an extra batch for her family.  I would sit out on her deck sipping iced tea while the kids swam in the pool.  I was living the dream right?  Not quite. 

My marriage was falling apart due to alcoholism, immaturity and a vast array of other bad decisions.  And, my BEST friend became a distant memory of what life used to be.  She became more and more distant.  Not understanding my decisions.  Heck, maybe not even respecting them.  After all, she was married to her high school sweetheart, and though they had their dysfunction, they were committed to making it work.  She slowly pulled away, and though I was hurt, I see her now and wonder how we were ever so close.  Our lives have taken two completely different paths.  Neither one better than the other, just different.

I knew when I made this series of decisions leading me to this place, I was healing myself and doing the right thing.  When your angels singing has dulled to a quiet hum and you are so lost in your day to day life trying to preserve the happiness of others before yourself, it is time to make a change.

I have visions for my future of doing things, big things to help others.  I love being behind the chair.  And, doing hair is my passion.  But, I am confident there will be more.  I have my list.  It’s a bucket list of sorts.  It is constantly being added to with things I know I  want to make happen in this life.  The most important things involve giving back to other people.

This list wasn’t going to happen without finding myself, being true to myself and of course above all else, hearing those angels again.  I don’t believe our angels ever leave us.  But I do believe when we are on a path of self destruction, we get so lost, WE fail to hear them.

I have spent the last couple of days watching the ones who have been there for me and coming to the acceptance of the ones who simply can’t do it.  The same way I have to live my life and be true to myself, they need to do the same.  Is life ever happening the way we thought it would?  While we are making plans, aren’t things usually happening just a little differently?  We do the best with what we are given. 

Even if I stand alone, this decision is the right one.  And the part I am most grateful for, is the time I am taking now to spend with my kids, exercise, feel the sun on my face and take care of ME.  I can’t be the hairapist I am meant to be without nurturing my soul.  So while I take this little hiatus from hair, I am going to be reaching the acceptance of those unable to understand, and embracing those that get it.  But even more than that, I am going to focus on what is right for me, my children, and listen a little closer to those angels.

The sun is rising now.  It’s time for a cup of coffee in the quiet of the morning before the chaos of the day starts.

We are never alone.  Ever.

Believe.

The Move

Though there are still boxes everywhere, we have officially moved.  It is a cute place.  I am blown away at the outpouring of love we received last week.  I haven’t had blood family here through the process but I have had something just as amazing.  The people who appeared at my house to help move me and the kids was incredible.  I get emotional even thinking of it now.  There were men who went straight to work loading a truck with all of the things they had taken apart.  Women packing all of my most precious things in paper and making sure nothing was broken.  And even homemade cookies.  Most importantly, through my tears, there was always someone there to hug me.  I love these people.  Some of them I hardly know, but I love them.  They are a true example of the love we all should have for one another.  And though I had to put my pride aside in order to accept their help, I am so thankful.  I will always remember the incredible acts of kindness I have received through this process.  And, I want to assure all of these wonderful people, I promise at some point to pay it forward.  Times like these, you realize who your “people” are.  And, I promise you, the ones you think will be there probably won’t.  And, the ones you would never expect will go out of their way to do anything they possibly can to help.  To those who have been there for me and my children, from the bottom of my heart, I say thank you. 

Today was a tough day at the salon.  Not only was I there for over twelve hours, but I have realized it is extremely difficult to be a hairapist when you are in the midst of your own stuff.  People come to me for a new look, for a moment of calm and to be pampered.  And, usually I deliver.  Today, I think I fell short.  I was a numb version of a usually positive, bubbly me.  I am confident I will get back to that.  After all, being a hairapist is what I was meant to do.  But, for right now, I have to acknowledge I am human.  And, it is okay to take time to heal before trying to help others.

I am going to be taking some time off.  I need to clear my head and sort through the emotions.  I need to take walks with my baby in the stroller.  I need to hang out with my older kids.  And, most importantly, I need to refill my cup.  After all, without my clients, I wouldn’t have the amazing job I do.  And I can’t continue with that amazing job unless I take a little “time out” and work through the emotion and exhaustion.

So, if you haven’t already, please make sure you subscribe to my blog.  Though it won’t always be incredible stories of the transformation of one of my clients, I can promise you it will be, for now, a combination of hairapy for both myself and others.  Two incredible things happen when you come out of the other side of a painful experience. First, you find out you are stronger than you ever thought you could be.  And second, if it is really worth fighting for, you realize you are happier because you accomplished what you thought was the impossible.

Believe.

The Darkest Time

I remember my first love like it was yesterday.  He was adorable.  A summer crush really.  But, it lasted several summers.  I also remember when he broke my heart.  I thought I would never recover.  And, here I sit somehow having made it through.

Then there was Titanic.  I remember sitting in the theater unable to move when it was over with the thought “I will never get over this movie”.  It seems laughable now but at the time, it was earth shattering to me.

When my parents divorced, though I was 22 and had a child of my own, I felt like my whole world had been turned upside down.  I wondered if life would ever be the same.  It hasn’t been the same, but somehow, it has continued to move forward.

I remember as if it was last week the birth of each one of my amazing children.  Those four days were the most incredible, spiritual experiences I will ever have in my life.  I also remember the day my second oldest was fighting for his life on full ventilator support.  I wondered if I would ever be able to breathe again if I lost my son.  And somehow, I am still here. (With a stong 12 year old I might add). 

I committed to you dear reader, to share the good the bad and the ugly.  I wanted this blog to be authentic.  I wanted you to see “me”.  Not the me with makeup and hair done, but the inner me.  And, as we all walk around with our masks on, there is so much more underneath.

Tomorrow I embark on the next chapter of my life.  And, like pain I have felt in the past, it will be painful.  And unlike a shot at the doctor’s office, it won’t be over in a second.  It will take months…years to bounce back.  But, some things are not meant to be forever.  And well, playing the blame game just doesn’t seem worth it.  It takes two people to end a relationship.  Two people who for whatever reason can’t work through the “yuck” life puts in our way.  It doesn’t mean the world is ending.  It simply means it is time for a change.

I know the person I made forever commitments to is still a person I will have in my life forever.  I hope at some point when we get past the hurt and anger, we can reach a point of forgiveness.  I hope for the sake of everyone involved there will be the recognition there are three sides to every story.  And, lashing out only hurts the littlest people involved.

If you my dear reader have ever been through something tough like I am describing, there are always two choices.  One, stay and make it work.  Two, try and make it work and if it doesn’t, move on.  We have made the choice to close this chapter and start a new one.

Why am I putting all of this “out there” do you ask?  Because I want YOU to know, you are not alone.  And, I want you to know, it is okay to say “this isn’t working”.  We each have to follow our own inner voice.  We each deserve to live our truth and to hear our angels singing.

I know I was meant to be here to help other people.  Unfortunately, I did not know the hurt I would experience in the process.  But I remember a childhood movie “The Sword in the Stone”.  A great little song “For every high there is a low, for every to there is a fro.  To and fro. Stop and go.  That’s what makes the world go round”…it is time to keep on moving ahead.  This might be one of my lows, but I have faith in the angels, I will reach a high again.

As I go through life’s hardest struggles, my chatty self becomes one of quiet reflection.  I contemplated all night whether or not to post.  But, if I am going to be authentic, it needs to be in the good and the bad.  I can’t be worried about “everyone” and their opinion.  Too many times, we worry about “everyone”…who is “everyone” really?  We make this idea up in our head that the whole world is judging us based on our own personal journey.  There will be more than a small few who will judge.  But remember my friend, they aren’t walking in your shoes.  They aren’t walking in mine.  And the only one in the mirror at the end of the day is you.

My bags are packed.  The keys are in hand.  And the hope for peace is there.  Never lose hope.  There will always be a bright spot at the end of the tunnel.  Some tunnels are just a little longer than others.

And, if the tunnel is that dark, make sure you bring your lantern.  Thank the heavens above the angels keeps singing even in the darkest of times.

Believe.

The Game Changer

Jane has only been a client of mine for about six months now.  She came to me because she needed a new look.  She is a beautiful middle aged woman who had gotten lost in her daughter’s drug addiction.  The very first time she came to me, she was candid about her struggles.  We had many parallels in our lives.  I believe this is why she felt so comfortable to talk to me about her situation.  While we worked on a new sassy ‘do for Jane, she talked to me about all of the sacrifices she made in order to get her daughter away from the drugs and negative influences.  Jane had put her own happiness on the line in order to “save” her daughter.

Jane has reached out to me several times asking how to get her angels to sing.  I got up this morning at 4 am and had an “aha” moment.  I know it was meant to be shared with Jane, but more importantly, I know the message was for me too.  I realized I can’t rest until I share it.  So for all you “Jane’s” out there, here it is…

I had a game changer moment this morning Jane.  I realized WE can’t live for someone else’s happiness or safety.  Sure, she is your daughter.  And you were blessed to be her mom.  But, she is grown now.  And you can’t save her.  You can be there as a support to her but you can’t put a protective bubble around her and keep her from going back to something if it is what she chooses.  And while you are trying to keep her from the things she may or may not go back to, you are completely neglecting YOU.

Living in fear of the “what if” is not living.  It is clinging onto a branch like a kitten in a tree.  We are hoping we don’t fall.   But, by thinking about the fall, we are creating the inevitable.  Whether it is our own “stuff” or someone else’s, we can’t change what “is”.  It is up to us to live each day as authentically as possible.

So, Jane (and this is for me too), we need to stop living for others and start doing what is right for us.  It might mean hurt.  It might mean pain.  But, if you aren’t taking care of YOU, who will?  I have faith if we both do this, our angels will sing louder than ever.  We are each here to grow individually.  We might have the help and support of others, but we can’t get lost in them.  It means losing our own way.  And, I don’t know about you but I am completely exhausted from living like this.

When you stop for a moment, and it is just you and the quiet, ask yourself this:  Am I living authentically?  Or am I doing what I feel obligated to do?  Am I being the person I am meant to be?  Or am I putting other’s needs before my own?   We each have our own angels singing.  Some of us are just more careful to listen.  I’m ready to start listening a little closer.  Are you?

Believe.

My Absence

My blogging has been rather quiet lately.  I have had messages and requests for posts.  And though I can attribute some of it to my mountain getaway, it doesn’t really explain it all.

I have been working like crazy to catch up with my clients.  Business is busier than ever and though it is stressful, when I walk into my creative space, I feel like I come alive.  Every client sitting in my chair is the potential for something amazing.  I am allowed the privilege of making magic happen.  And, sometimes, I don’t quite hit the mark.

Yesterday, I had a client come in for her second visit.  She is a referral from a dear friend of mine.  When she left her appointment the first time, she was THRILLED!  She couldn’t say enough about how happy she was to find me.  Her cut was exactly what she wanted.  She walked out of the salon with a skip in her step and once again, I was happy to see another person so happy.  But yesterday…well, yesterday was different.  Carol came into the salon and the moment she walked through the door, I knew something wasn’t right.  She was quiet and sullen.  Her makeup and hair were done and she looked polished as she had the first time, but she seemed low.  I don’t know how I know these things.  But, after doing hair for so many years, I have learned to read people’s body language.  It was evident something was very wrong.

Once Carol sat in the chair, I proceeded to do the usual.  I asked her how her cut had worked for her and what we needed to do to get her the same look.  All of a sudden I was thrown into a very direct (repeated several times) description of how awful the last few weeks with this cut had been for her.  Yikes.  Now, my first response was to shut down.  My internal dialogue was something like this.  “Holy crap.  I messed up.  She is unhappy.  And now, she is repeating over and over again how unhappy she is…what am I going to do.  I am not meant to be a hairdresser.  She is not meant to be my client.  What is wrong with me?”  Outwardly, I sat quietly and took it all in.  Once she was repeating the unhappy details of the past few weeks for the third time, I calmly stepped in, assured her I knew how to fix it and started to stand to shampoo her.  She sat in the chair, leaned her head into the bowl, and I said a quiet prayer I would be able to deliver a good cut.  Sounds silly, but I felt a tremendous amount of pressure.  Clearly, I was not what she needed right?  WRONG.  Once Carol had her head in the shampoo bowl and I started to wash her hair, she opened up about her life.  Something tragic is going on with her son.  She was so sorry if she sounded negative.  She wasn’t even sure she should keep her appointment with me.  And then the tears began to flow.  And, my heart turned from defensive to compassion.  Yes, she wasn’t happy with her cut, but there was so much going on in her life and well, it wasn’t all about me.

I have been thinking about Carol since yesterday.  I have prayed for her and her family.  And, I have reflected on the number of times I have assumed everything was great in someone else’s life while mine wasn’t exactly going as planned.  I have thought about how many times I will think the person in my chair has a chip on their shoulder and immediately, I take it personally. 

Carol was another reminder.  When someone is short tempered, quiet (out of their usual temperament), or overly critical, it probably isn’t about us.  Each one of us walks around with the weight of our own adversity.  Sometimes, we have a spring in our step.  Life is good.  And then there are those times, the really tough times, where we can’t hide what is really weighing on our hearts.

My blog has been quiet these days because just like Carol, my heart is heavy right now.  It isn’t the worst “stuff” I have ever been through.  And, I am sure I will face much worse at some point in my life.  But, as I have commited to you the reader to be completely authentic, it seems wrong to boost you with stories of my angels singing when quite frankly right now, I can’t even hear them quietly humming to me.

I will always be the hairapist who gives one hundred and fifty percent to the person in my chair.  But, the reality is, when I am not behind the chair, I am human.  I face my own struggles.  And even though I am strong, there are times where I feel like the weight of the world is just more than I can bare.  I felt Carol’s pain yesterday because I was going through my own pain.  And, I believe together, we helped each other.  She reminded me it is okay to let it out when things get tough.  And, if we are going to feel pure joy, there has to be a time where we feel the pain of life too.

As I sit here sipping my morning cup of coffee, I am reminded today is a new day.  Though the painful situation is still there and I am not ready to talk about it, I will acknowledge the pain, and tuck it somewhere deep within in order to do my job.  I will continue to give my all to my clients, my family and my friends.  And, with faith, I know there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.  Tears are okay.  What follows after the biggest storms?  A rainbow.  No matter how long it takes, I will get through this.  And, so will Carol.  And whatever you might be facing, you too will get through it.  Even when it doesn’t feel like it, we are never truly alone.  I know my angels never stop singing.  I need to listen a little closer.

What about you?  What are you facing right now?  Do you have the heavy weight of adversity on you?  This too shall pass, right?

Believe. 

Mountain Getaway

It is very rare for this hairapist to take a time out.  As a mother of four, it takes so much plotting and planning to escape from the day to day chaos.  Many times, even though I hear the little voice telling me to take a break, I ignore it and continue on with the day to day routine.

But this past weekend, I relented.  And it was amazing.  I have always considered myself more of a beach person.  Warm weather, the sunshine and the breeze from the ocean…ahhh.  But, this beach bum decided to follow the lead of her husband and head to the mountains.  Not just any cabin in the mountains, but a cabin all by itself at the top of a mountain.  The view was incredible.  The cabin immaculate and cozy.  And, here are a few of the things I learned on this incredible getaway:

11.      Everyone needs a break.  Mountains, beach, staycation, doesn’t matter.  It is necessary.  And mine was WAY overdue.

22.     Trying something new for your vacation can be incredible.  This mountain getaway now goes down in history as my most relaxing escape (even beating out Jamaica, mon).

33.     Food is even better when you don’t have to cook it.  We ate at some amazing places and I enjoyed every last calorie (my personal trainer will make me pay for this).

44.     People seem to enjoy life a little more here in the mountains.  The pace is a little slower and well, the people are friendlier.

55.     I will always love people watching.  And we did plenty of it while here.  And incredibly, my inner hairdresser wasn’t obsessing over ways to fix people. (I know, shocking)

66.     When you are passionate about something, you will draw people to you with the same passion regardless of the circumstances.  We had massages at an incredible spa.  The owner had a story so similar to mine.  She was amazing.  And, another reminder, we can make our dreams come true.

77.     Every mom needs a break.  And after a few days, that same mom misses her kids and can’t wait to get back to her chaos.  I love my children more because I have had a break from them.  It has made me stop and appreciate the four blessings I have in my life.

88.     A few days makeup free is liberating.  When you are in a business where you have to be made up day in and day out, it is nice to be in comfy clothes and no makeup and still feel beautiful.  I even went without doing my hair a day or two!

99.     I wish we had a fireplace at our house.  There is something so soothing about sitting in front of a fire.  My husband and I loved the fireplace so much, the first night, we slept on couches just so we could enjoy the crackle of the fireplace.

110.                          I need to stop and take a break more often.  I will go home renewed, refreshed and ready to take on some hair.  Timeouts are healing.  I’m so thankful I finally got one.

So when was the last time you took a break?  Are you able to hear your angels singing?  Or are you so exhausted mentally, emotionally and spiritually, you’re living life on automatic pilot?

Big shout out to the two people (my mother and my sister in law) for making this trip happen.  Babies have a sixth sense.  They know you are getting ready to escape and somehow they get sick at just the right time to make you cancel your getaway.  Luckily, we had these great people to help us get away.

I hope you get a break soon.  And, if you need a place to go, I know a great cabin in the mountains.

Believe