Adversity

As some of you may know, I am on a mission to better my personal health.  I have struggled for several years now with an autoimmune disease.  The symptoms range in severity and aren’t constant.  But, I never know when I will be hit with a flare.  These flares make work much more difficult.  Sometimes, when I wake up and feel the pain, I wonder if I am going to be able to continue doing what I love for much longer.  Yikes.  So, I joined a gym, hired a personal trainer and renewed my commitment to myself.  I refuse to allow this “disease” to take me from what I have worked so hard for.  My passion and one of the things I look forward to doing every day.

Now where in the heck does a mom of four have time to work out?  Yea, I really don’t.  But, I need to be a priority.  So, I am up at 5:30 am, six days a week to work on me.  During this time, I start on the treadmill and I usually listen to an audio book.  And, if it’s a really good book, I find myself listening to it in the car and any spare second I can.   Currently, I am listening to Iyanla Vanzant.  She is a spiritual advisor, life coach and author.  I have always wondered how people come to a place where they are able to advise other people on how to live and be happy.  By listening to her book, I am realizing exactly how this happens.  She has been through HELL and back!  No joke.  I find myself sitting in the car unable to control the tears as I listen to her story.  Abuse, neglect.  A legacy of pain which started well before she was even born.  And, somehow, she has risen above it all and her angels are singing.  Through her own personal adversity, she helps others recognize and listen to their angels singing.

I believe there are two kinds of people.  There are the people who take their struggles and personal adversity and they turn it into a reflection.  A life lesson.  And they allow themselves to feel the pain at the deepest center of themselves.  Then, they turn it over to a source greater than themselves.  Pick up, dust their knees off and keep on going.

Then there are those who stay on their knees.  And, fixate on the hurt.  They find some sort of comfort in the pain.  But is it really easier to sit in your stuff?

I have a sweet little 8 month old baby who is trying to learn how to crawl.  She scoots backwards on the floor, stuffing herself uncomfortably under the furniture.  She gets so mad!  She will whine and fuss till someone comes and rescues her.  And then, we sit her in the middle of the floor and start the process over again.  She doesn’t give up.  She instinctively keeps on going.  Where do we lose this drive?  The determination to crawl before we walk?  And more importantly, the belief in ourselves we CAN do it!

I have a client who we will call Vicky.  Vicky has been a client of mine for a long time.  She is a beautiful older woman.  Dresses nice.  Cute haircut, (of course).  She always comes in looking poised and put together.  Vicky is miserable.  She is on a course of self destruction.  She finds something upsetting about every aspect of her life.  In her mind, she is a victim in every way.  Now, as I have told you before, the hairapist in me wants to do more than just give her a great cut and color.  But, over the years, I have found her misery has increased and her self worth has decreased.  For a hairapist, this is heartbreaking.  I desperately long to help Vicky.  I want her to hear her angels sing.  I want to tell her it is all in her.  I want to help.  But, the reality is, she is unwilling to see the problem.  And so, Vicky walks around with a great cut, cute clothes and makeup and a giant chip on her shoulder.  Instead of trying to talk her through it like I used to, I pray for her.  I pray she will find peace and I pray she will at some point hear her angels singing. 

Are you holding yourself back from hearing your angels sing?  Are you going through something today, this week, this month that is so much greater than you it is almost unbearable?  Are you going to stuff yourself under the furniture and whine?  Or are you going to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and try to figure out the life lesson?

I promise you, your angels are singing.  Do you hear them?

Believe.