Kindness

Many times when a new client visits me for the first time, they are somewhat taken aback.  Now, when I say this, I am sure Penny is laughing.  I am very passionate about hair.  And, I am my authentic hairapist self from the first moment a new client walks in the door.  Yes, my mind is racing with all the ideas I have for them before they even speak.  But, even more importantly, I want to give them the best experience (or even best first experience) with a hairapist.  I give a thorough consultation.  I really want to know what YOU are all about.  It matters to me.  I want to make sure YOU are cared for in the best way possible.  And, I want it to show that I really do care.

So, my questions to you today are, why do we wait to be our authentic selves?  Or more importantly what are we waiting for?  Why is a hairapy session where someone is showing they really care an exception to the day to day life we live?

Many times, we wait.  We wait until someone is sick.  Really sick.  Or, until someone in their family is sick before we rally together as a community and show our authentic selves.  We wait until someone has passed before we say how much they meant to us.  Past tense.  Why my readers, why do we do this?!

This summer, a client and friend of mine who we will call Sarah found out her husband had cancer.  Sarah is an amazing woman inside and out.  She has three beautiful children and a hardworking, loving husband.  Sarah’s husband was diagnosed with cancer.  Though we don’t see each other every day, I really adore Sarah.  And, when I found out about her situation/crisis, I couldn’t rest until I did something to help her and her family.  Penny, like me, had this cute family weighing on her heart.  Together we organized a fundraiser to help with any needs they may have while Sarah’s husband went through treatment.  We were one of many.  The family was completely embraced with love and kindness from others through their time of need.  It was incredible to watch.  I have prayed for her and her family many times since the diagnosis.  The community rallied together and we were quite successful for such a small salon.

It is amazing to me how people will pull together to help a loved one or a person in the community when there is a crisis.  Why does it take something that turns another person’s world upside down for us to show our hearts to one another?  The excuse of being too busy is just that…an excuse.  Being busy means we might not have much time in our day but it doesn’t mean we can’t be kind to one another.

Now, I am not saying we should be like John Cusack in “Say Anything” and stand in front of the house of someone we love with a boombox (yea, I said it.  Do they even make those anymore?) proclaiming our love for them.  But, rather I am saying, we need to let down our guard just a little bit more and recognize no matter what we are going through personally, we are ALL going through something.  And, isn’t it a little bit easier to go through it when someone is kind to you? 

I have many days where one of my “regulars” will come in and they are dealing with the weight of their world before they come in the door.  The circumstances are always different but the feeling is the same.  They come in, sigh, and sit in the chair to get their hair washed.  I don’t take this step lightly.  Putting your hands on someone else’s head and washing their hair can be a very relaxing experience.  I make sure the water is just the right temperature and I take my time.  In those moments, I try not to talk too much (unless the client prefers conversation) and I watch as the person slowly melts into the chair.  Most times, if they let it, a peace takes over.  And, once the haircut starts, they are calmer and more relaxed.  It seems like such a small thing.  And, well, I guess it is.  But, what that small thing does is changes the environment.  It shifts that person’s energy.  They allow me to give them a more relaxing experience.  And, for alittle while, whatever troubles they have, are put aside, or talked about and they are cared for.

You may not be a hairapist, but YOU, my reader, have the power to be a game changer.  You have the ability to change the course of someone else’s mood or day.  Think about it.  When you are driving along the highway and someone cuts you off and you are ENRAGED that person just changed your commute to work a little, didn’t they?  So what if it were the opposite?  What if one little act of your authentic self was a game changer for someone else?

My first timers are overwhelmed most times.  My second timers are a little amused.  My regulars know this is who I am.  Show people who you are.  Do something kind before something “big” happens to another person you care about.  It takes one small act to allow someone to feel the kindness of the human spirit.  Somehow, it’s like the world has forgotten this.  We are more concerned with being right, or being angry or getting to where we need to be.  And, we are actually all suffering because of it.

Ellen Degeneres is one of my favorite people.  Okay, I haven’t actually met her (yet) but I love her energy.  At the end of every show, she says “Be kind to one another”.  Today, I am offering you the same advice.   And, I am also going to challenge you.  Tell someone today you love them.  You don’t have to do it in some extravagant way (the boombox), but  reach out “just because” not because of a crisis.  You never know when you might not have that opportunity again.

Believe.