Your Crown

My job (as I see it) every day is to make women feel for just a few minutes or hours they are royalty.  I have them sit in front of a mirror while I do this and I try to convince them of all that is beautiful and wonderful about them.  And, somehow I am supposed to convince them this is all about their hair.  Really?
Now, I am not one to debate the importance of great hair.  I know how I feel with fresh color and a new cut.  Heck, I know how I feel these days if I can convince Penny to shampoo me.  It is the most amazing feeling!  Someone else is serving me for just a few minutes.  And, the feeling is one of complete relaxation.  And, most times, I feel like in that moment, I am important enough for someone to take the time to take care of ME.  Sound familiar?
I have a client whom we will call Janet.  Janet is on a quest to be the perfect blonde.  Now, I don't mean blonde like Penny.  Penny is in my opinion is an enhanced "natural" blonde.  We take her look and play up what was already meant to be there.  Her eyes sparkle a little more and her skin looks a little more porcelain with the shade of blonde we make her.  Janet, on the other hand, is trying to be the blonde she thinks she is supposed to be for her husband, for her status.  Frankly, I am not even sure she knows what she is shooting for.  I say this because Janet is naturally darker than the picture of me on my blog page.  And every four weeks, she is in my chair, pushing me to make her blonder, blonder blonder.  And, no matter how hard I try (and with the amazing products I use) that perfect Marilyn Monroe, Gwen Stefani, or whomever you want to compare her to just isn't happening in her eyes.    And, I leave the appointments questioning what more I could possibly do to help her on her journey.  The frustrating part of all of this?  It doesn't matter if I think it looks good or for her, it doesn't even matter if it is falling on the floor in broken pieces of "I told you so".  It matters that she leaves happy.  The worst part yet?  She isn't ever happy.  And, unfortunately it has nothing to do with the level of blonde.
So what is a hairapist to do with a client who doesn't listen?  It is my job as the hairdresser to try and get her to where she wants to be.  To listen to the idea she has running through her head and to try and make it happen.  It is my responsibility as her hairapist to understand this has nothing to do with her hair and everything to do with insecurities that lie much deeper than a few foils.
One of my favorite authors and spiritual leaders is Marianne Williamson.  She has been a inspiration to me since I was about 13.  I picked up a book of hers and it spoke to me.  This morning, while doing my early morning workout, I listened to one of her audiobooks.  She was talking about the power that women have and how we forget we have it.  How each one of us is walking around forgetting that we are naturally born as queens or goddesses.  And, the outside world taints this with three things:  Our past, our insecurities and pop culture.  DING DING DING!
Our past is the things we have experienced that lead us to believe that being a blonde will make us happy.  Our insecurities about our weight or our nose etc lead us to believe we "can't" have short hair or we "can't" go outside the comfort zone we have always known.  And pop culture leads us to believe if we don't look like the Kardashians or have body like a Victoria's Secret model, we aren't "enough".
If we spent more time building each other up as women instead of tearing each other down, what would the world be like?  Would Janet be more comfortable with listening to professional advice and getting caramel tones on her dark hair and gradually processing it without damage?  Would we stop worrying about the number on the scale and buy clothes that fit and be comfortable with a waste band that doesn't say size 0?  Would we be able to let down our walls of judgment toward each other and embrace each other as women?  Women who are all at different stages in our journey but don't have to journey alone.
So are you coming into the salon already wearing your crown or are you expecting someone else (me) to try and help put it on for you?  Because the sooner you realize you are already wearing that crown and I'm simply enhancing it, the more peaceful you will be.  And the more likely you are to enjoy the journey.