The Power of Assuming

Pearl had been a client of mine for about a year when she just disappeared.  I have other clients who are friends with her and when I asked what happened to her, I was told she had another baby and was very busy.  Now Pearl was driving quite a distance to see me, so I assumed this excuse was legit but in the back of my mind was still a little doubt.  Was she not happy with her highlights?  I rarely lose a client.  What could I have done?  Maybe she wasn’t happy with her last service.  Maybe I said something she didn’t like.  Were my prices too much for her?

Linda was a close friend for a long time.  And though she was much younger than I was, we clicked immediately.  I felt like I had another sister.  She was there for me as if she was brought into my life at exactly the right time.  And then, I got pregnant and we drifted apart.  Did I do something?  Did she not want me in her life anymore?  What happened?  And, of course I assumed the worst.  And, because I was assuming the worst, I didn’t get in touch with her because the thought of what it might be was not something I wanted to face.

Sound familiar?

Why do we assume the worst?  And, even if it is the worst case scenario, wouldn’t it be better to know?  Too many times when faced with something where we can’t fill in the blanks, we fill them in for ourselves.  And, many times what we assume isn’t what really IS at all.

I believe people come into our lives in a season.  Whether it is a client in my chair or a friend who I meet at just the “right” time, I need them.   Or, maybe they even need me.  And then, many times, due to circumstances life puts in front of us, we go our separate ways.  Does there always have to be some conflict making it an uncomfortable separation?  After all, we weren’t married.  We didn’t have a fight.  We didn’t have words and then walk away feeling the pain of a broken relationship.  It’s life.  And, for every season, we are presented with the people we need to teach us the lessons of our lives.  So, instead of feeling guilty that our lives didn’t continue to follow the same path, what about embracing our own path and wishing them well on theirs?  No drama, just peace.  And gratitude for the season we shared together.

Pearl came back to me.  She was in my chair just yesterday.  She has four kids now just like me.  We had so much to catch up on.  And she explained how difficult it was to get childcare to come and see me.  She told me how much she has missed my services and conversation.  She brought pictures of her hair during the time I used to do it and said she wants to get back to that look.  WOHOO! 

I reached out to Linda because I couldn’t shake the feeling maybe I had done something to offend her.  We exchanged messages and chalked it up to a misunderstanding.  She is in a different phase in her life than I am now.  But, she is happy.  And accomplishing the goals she always talked about.  I am at peace because now I know instead of wondering at the back of my mind what happened.

Life is too short to assume we know it all.  And though the struggles we are experiencing may not be the same as someone else’s, we all have struggles.  I think I am going to try assuming less and reaching out more.  What have you been assuming about another?  Have you thought to reach out?

Believe.